i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You can't just leave with hair like that
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
