She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
