He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
