After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
