dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
