We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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