True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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