yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
