put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize