Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
