I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
