Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
