I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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