it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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