East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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