Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
