He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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