So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
