I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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