You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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