Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
