Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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