It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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