Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize