But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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