Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i want to swaddle you in tequila
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
