I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
