I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
