I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
