you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
