What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize