PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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