Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize