they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
