ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
