What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
