so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
