He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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