he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I party with great urgency now.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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