Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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