Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
