So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize