the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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