Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize