i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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