So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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