The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Houston, we have a squirter
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
