I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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