We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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