need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
