When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
