You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
