After last night, I could never be a politician.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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