I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
