she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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