sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We are two peas in an std pod
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
